I know, I have been a bad, bad girl for not posting more often. Someone should surely tie me up and spank the daylights out of me (any takers?).
The summer is slowly, but surely, starting to wind down. Only a couple more weekends of stress to endure, only a couple more projects to get done. Then it will be time to pack up our stuff and move into the new house. Then the unpacking and settling in.
It's not looking so good in the blogging department. Things probably won't be normal around here until sometime in October or November. I hope you can all bear with us and stick around until then.
In the mean time, I have been following my webgroups like I always do and recently a submissive man posted a long bit about his life of late as it relates to submission. I don't have permission to re-post any parts of it, so I will give you the condensed version.
Currently he is without a Domme, and has been for some time. He used to be interested in play any way he could get it, but he has noticed that as he is forced to take on more and more control in his everyday life (via work and so on), his desire to be submissive has decreased, or become somewhat dormant. He worries that perhaps he is becoming so out of practice that he is losing his 'submissiveness'. He questions whether it is possible for someone to stop being submissive out of lack of *exercising* that part of himself. He wonders if submission can atrophy from lack of use, like a muscle. He is aware that he feels conflicted within himself.
I thought on this for some time. There have been times in my life when submission was the farthest thing on my mind. Times when I had to be in control so much of the time that I forced submission away, locked it in a closet because there was no room for it in my nature at the moment. Of course I always knew it was there, knocking quietly, waiting for a time when it would be drawn out again, into the light. If I allowed myself to be quiet for a moment, to still myself and really listen, I could hear it there. It is something that can never be totally lost, for it is a part of me, just as my organs are a part of me, just as my mind and soul are a part of me. But, like muscles, if submission is not exercised for some time it will become stiff and awkward. Fortunately, the condition is reversible.
I believe that the man in question is feeling conflicted because he KNOWS that his submission is in there, waiting to be released. But the one who holds the key has not yet crossed his path in this life. When he finds her, he will remember, and he will feel right within his own skin again.
Please, feel free to share your own thoughts on this :)